LUCKY? ‘GOD HAS MY BACK’

LUCKY? ‘GOD HAS MY BACK’

This is not a reference to religion of any sort. It is mentioned in “A course in Miracles”, a book worth the reading. However, before the miracle I have a true story I want to tell.

I enjoyed a cappuccino while saying good morning to my FB friends. Afterwards, I decided to go for a run, something I always do when I have the time.

Oh, if you don’t know it, traffic in Brazil is not only heavy but also crazy.
You can imagine the potential on a Monday almost 12pm.

I went by a particularly known route of mine. I observed a butterfly in different tones of yellow and orange finding it quite unusual. While crossing one specific street seeing that the traffic was stopped by the red sign I ran across and decided to enter the pathway.

Jogging down the street and passing by the front of a school I heard this “bang” right behind me. My impression was that a light post had exploded.

I had my headset on. Almost in a theatrical way I looked behind me to see a car, which has been stopped by the only tree on my side about 10 meters away from me.
I didn’t understand anything.
I got back there and saw lots of soap spread all over it, which seemed coming from somewhere inside the engine. The front part of the truck was heavily damaged and I still didn’t see anyone in the driver’s seat. I came closer yelling ‘hi, are you ok?’ And still not a sound.

Someone from the store in front came from the other side, saying there was a child inside. All of us looked at each other almost panicking. I opened the door and the boy screamed for his mother. I took the opportunity to comfort him saying that she would be coming in a bit. The mother was running in a panic
Asking for her son and seeing him fine, she explained what happened.
The truck was hit by the back and when she realized it, she left the car, forgetting the brakes, and leaving the boy inside. The car went downhill just stopping because of a tree.

Recalling the random path the car took (someone mentioned it actually changed direction) I realized I was the only person on the street and if I did not have my headset on, I would not be telling this story so calmly.

GOD LITERALLY HAD MY BACK.
Safe and peaceful by then, I was able to calm down mother and child, who was pointing to the broken parts of the vehicle on the ground with his little hands as if completing a puzzle.

I was still figuring out the why I was there at that moment.
The only thing I knew is that God was yelling at me saying that She had my back.

Juggling with the recent facts I passed by the same street I ran the day before observing the exquisite colors of flowers I haven’t seen previously. I also listened to birds of all kinds and astounded with the beauty surrounding the neighborhood, which I am so used. Another yellow butterfly passed by me, reminding me of what some call a miracle.

Now I can say something really happened on my way.

Unpredictable day: Spending St Patrick’s Day In Montreal in very good Brazilian company!

St. Patrick’s Day, some years back…

Beautiful day for St. Patrick’s Day Parade in Montreal.
Where are you? you? hello!!??
You said you would go to a family birthday even though you don’t do half of them.
At least, you were conscious about that…
Well, it was still St. Patrick’s day and I was hanging out with a bunch of drunkard but happy people…
In Dublin, it is known as the climax of a five-day festival.
I see I did not prepare myself to be at the parade at St. Patrick’s at least not in Montreal that very year.

The weather was still very cold, but felt good. I, myself felt anxious though. Probably I was just missing you. I can be like that, bored by being too close but when you are not there, it feels just unbelievably unbearable…

Did Freud ever explain that?

St. Patrick is definitely one of my preferred saints.
I once felt a close feeling towards UK. I guess I still do. In Montreal, about 160.000 of the 3.4 million people in the Greater Montreal claimed their Irish heritage, according 2001 census.
In Toronto, nearly 143.000 claimed the same, even though this data was based on the immigrants counted coming from all the United Kingdom.

However, many people can be more related to the Irish heritage than me, maybe also to St. Patrick. I don’t blame them.
According to the World Book Encyclopedia, the Patron Saint of Ireland was born around the year of 389 in what is now England.
At the age of 16, he was sold into slavery in Ireland, and later he moved to France.
He returned to Ireland about 431 to work as a missionary. While there, he wrote ‘Confession’, a book that detailed his spiritual development. He also wrote ‘Letter to Coroticus’, who was a criticized English chieftain for his raid in Ireland.
Contrary to the myth, he did not flee the island of snakes by charming the reptiles and making them swim into the sea.
St. Patrick’s day was first celebrated in 1737, in Boston.
There, I can find myself very at home, very Irish.

Still, with no Irish heritage.

THE WOUNDED TIGER

 

Emptiness

You just left the room.

There is nothing there

Anymore.

Not even me exist.

What am I without

Your dear presence
in here?

Nothing.

Trauma.

 

I am the wounded tiger.

I discovered this

After all the math was done.

All the expertise was exercised.

I am the subject

And Viktor Frankel never told me.

The healer and the wounded are the same.

I am the wound

To be exposed

To the world.

And be forgotten forever.

 

I am the subject

And just a number.

I want to be just a number this time.

And forget

Forever

The wound,

The pain,

The mask

Eternally existed.

 

I would like to

Forget the opera

And leave the mask

Outside

The stage

To be myself

For once

And for all.

 

Call me

The subject

And the object

To be humanized
again

And living

Resurging

From the graveyard

That I was painfully buried

Years ago.

 

Let me start

My story

With life now

And not my own death.

                                                                       

Guga Kuertner –O jogador de tênis, o mentor e o Hall Internacional da Fama do tênis

Sexta-feira passada, em uma reunião em São Paulo, Guga, como Gustavo Kuertner é mais conhecido em todo o mundo, comemorou sua entrada no Hall Internacional da Fama do tênis. Ele declarou pela TV, semana passada, que finalmente ele poderia desmistificar o tênis como esporte apenas para outros países, sendo um dos nomes no Hall da fama internacional agora.

Juntamente com Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi e outros grandes nomes do esporte, o Tênis Hall em Newport, nos Estados Unidos, tem agora uma participação brasileira. Muito trabalho, investimento de tempo, da família e treino, treino  e mais treino fez deste um evento possível…

Mais do que dizer que esta homenagem foi absolutamente bem merecida, eu gostaria de abordar o Guga de verdade, aquele que foi 100% apoiado por sua mãe e irmãos, vivendo em Florianópolis, no sul do país. Pessoalmente, eu adoro a cidade que é uma mistura de cidade grande, com bons projetos de expansão e que é suportada pelo que eu chamo de “as melhores praias do Sul”.

Gustavo, um cara de família que teve que se aposentar muito cedo devido a lesões físicas, ainda continua a carreira num grande projeto com crianças carentes e com deficiencia, que adoram tênis mas não tem acesso ao esporte. O projeto continua a crescer desde quando começou. Mas acima de tudo, o carisma que Guga tem desenvolvido através do instituto é visível. Parece-me óbvio que a paixão que uma vez foi aplicada ao esporte, pode ser aplicada em qualquer ramo pelo que originalmente ele, Guga, se apaixonou.

E afinal de contas, desculpem os muitos elogios, de antemão justificando que eles são todos aplicáveis neste caso, eu tenho que enfatizar uma última coisa que como uma boa observadora posso assinalar. Guga tem uma modéstia interna, se me permite dizer,  que está acima de toda esta conquista. O que ele faz é simplesmente compartilhar com a família e com amigos leais, o amor extremo por sua terra natal e as lágrimas sinceras que também divide em momentos como este.

Guga Kuetner – the tennis player, the mentor and the Tennis Hall of Fame

Today in a meeting in Sao Paulo – Brazil, Guga, as Gustavo Kuertner is better known around the world, was celebrating his induction to the Tennis Hall of Fame. He declared to a Brazilian channel that he could ‘de-mystify’ tennis as a sport just for other countries by being one of the names in the International Hall of Fame now.

Together with Pete Sampras, Andre Agassi and other big names of the sport, the Tennis Hall in Newport has a Brazilian participation now. Lots of work, family time investment and training, training, training made this event possible…

More than saying that this homage was absolutely well deserved, I would like to address the real Guga, the one who was 100% supported by his Mother and brothers, living in Florianopolis, in the South of the country. I personally, love the city, which a mixture of big city with good projects for expansion, and supported by what I call the best beaches of the South.

Gustavo, a family guy who had to retire very early due to injuries, still continues developing projects in his career, specially keeping a keen project with disadvantaged kids, who love tennis but don’t have access to this expensive sport. But most of all, the charisma that Guga has developed through his career is visible. It seems obvious that the passion once applied to the sport can be in any branch of what one originally fell for.

And after all, sorry for the series of compliments, justifying that they are all applicable in this case, I have to emphasize one last thing that a good observer can point out. Guga has some internal modesty, if I may say, in all this accomplishment. All he does is sharing with family and loyal friends, with the love for his homeland and in  the sincere tears he also expresses at moments like this.

OUTRA HISTÓRIA IGUAL A DA RIHANNA – A Dependência do amor e do abuso

E o dia Internacional da Mulher chegou outra vez.
Faço uma reflexão e me pergunto o que mudou.
Lembro-me há um tempo atrás, de estar em um lugar muito perigoso, não para os outros, mas para mim mesma. Por um período de 7 meses, eu vivi uma história muito semelhante à da Rihanna, lembra dela? Ela é a cantora, que eu quase não ouvi falar, como vocês, antes do escândalo de seu abuso, em 2009.
Parafraseando P.P. Didi, eu também descobri que deixei meu sonho para trás e quase esquecido: “Se você não está seguindo o seu sonho, é um sinal de que você não está se movendo o rápido suficiente”, na sua entrevista para a Ellen Degeneres, no seu programa de 10 de março de 2009.
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Embora a maioria das informações não coincidam, algo me faz lembrar dela.
Um desses itens refere-se a negação ao fazer a distinção dos primeiros sinais do abuso mental, físico e emocional. Muitas mulheres não percebem este abuso. Como diferenças claras, para citar alguma, seria a das origens. Eu não conheci abuso ao meu redor. Como as crianças da época, entendemos disciplina, não abuso. Eu consigo ver o controle e a superproteção na família. Mesmo que esses detalhes não apontem para as raízes da questão, eu ainda me sentia identificada com ela naquele momento.

Ao escrever este texto, eu isolei três elementos fortes para a concessão de abuso:
• História de abuso anterior na família de origem;
• Intensa necessidade de alimentar a vítima encontrada no ‘outro’. Como mulheres, nós viemos de um lugar de carinho, preparadas desde o nascimento para ser mães, bem como das que nutrem.
• Em casos semelhantes, além disso, as mulheres tendem a se machucar antes dos outros, protegendo-os, de acordo com estudos na area.

Carl G Jung, o Psicanalista suíço, se voltaria para o inconsciente e ao inconsciente coletivo para explicar. Segundo ele, nós, mulheres, compartilhamos a história de nossos parentes ancestrais, ‘das meninas’, bem como de toda a humanidade que veio a este mundo anteriormente. Sendo Psicóloga, com experiência anterior nas questões de relacionamentos, bem como abuso de substâncias, e nascida no Brasil, em Curitiba, um país emergente, deparei-me muitas vezes com a experiência de abuso emocional e físico de minhas clientes.

Naquele mesmo ano, Oprah lançou uma semana de programas para todas os Rihanas do mundo, e nesse ano me lembro o quão coletiva era a experiência de sentir-se identificada com o tema e quantas outras tambem se sentiram assim ou talvez tivessem deixado seus “Chris Browns”, no mesmo ano. Algumas simplesmente não puderam fazê-lo.

O alto nível de violência e obsessão que implica em estar no relacionamento cercado por declarações como “eu vou te encontrar, em qualquer lugar que você vá”, permanecem em sua mente por um longo tempo. Muitos dos homens abusivos utilizam este argumento não só para possuir uma mulher, bem como para fornecer evidência em suas mentes de que isto é amor.
A outra declaração “eu vou te matar, se você me deixar” soa tão natural para os controladores. Quantas mulheres não conseguem enxergar quando os limites estão muito esticados e, em seguida, tornam-se vulneráveis a esse chamado ‘amor’?

O processo de encontro das Rhyannas é para aquelas que estão abertas o suficiente para falar sobre, e se curar na próxima etapa. Como resultado, até mesmo uma família nova pode surgir, pessoas que estão compartilhando o processo de cicatrização, crescimento e assim, estabelecer novas perspectivas juntos.

Podemos nós, mulheres, justificar uma atitude apenas por sermos viciadas em sermos amadas? O foco apaixonado da intensidade do sentimento, o drama e o ciúme que acompanham o processo extremo do abuso podem ser algumas das ligações para esses fatos. O resto são pedaços de informação obtidos através dos anos da minha experiência.

Pessoalmente, esta história me fez mais forte sabendo muito melhor o que eu quero com base no que eu não quero. Espero que sirva para as amigas ‘Ryannas de todo o mundo’, em seu dia, independentemente da nacionalidade. A fórmula agora parece simples, aceitação dos fatos, o perdão depois de tudo e, em seguida,  meninas, sigam em frente, por favor.

Boa sorte.

ANOTHER RIHANNA STORY – Addiction to love and abuse

Tomorrow is International Women’s day.

I wonder what has been changing.

I recall myself a while ago, very into a dangerous place not to others, but to myself.

For a 7-month period, I have lived a very similar story to Rihanna, remember her?

She is the singer, who I barely heard of before the scandal of her abuse, in 2009.

Paraphrasing P.P. Didi, I also discovered I left my dream behind and almost forgotten: “If you’re not following your dream, it is a sign that you’re not moving faster enough”, talking to Ellen Degeneres in her program launched back in March 10, 2009.

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Even though most details don’t coincide, something reminds me of her. One is referring to the denial to make a distinction of the first signs of the mental, emotional and physical abuse. Many women don’t realize the abuse. As clear differences, to cite some, backgroundwise I don’t know abuse around me. As kids, we understood discipline, not abuse. I can see control and over protection in the family. Even though these details don’t point to the roots of the issue, I still felt identified with it at that point in time.

 

Writing this piece, I isolated three strong elements for the concession of abuse:

• History of previous abuse in the family of origin;
• Intense need to nurture the victim found in the  ‘other’. As women, we come from a place of nurturing, prepared since birth to be mothers, as well as ‘nurturers’.
• In similar cases, on top of that, women tend to hurt themselves first instead of others, according to studies.

 

Carl G Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst, would turn to the unconscious and the collective unconscious to explain the issue.  According to him, we women share the history of our ancestral ‘girls’ relatives as well as the entire humanity who came to this world previously.  As a counselor with previous experience in the relationships issues as well as substance abuse, and coming originally from an emerging country, the experience in emotional and  physical abuse came across my practice many times.

 

 With Oprah launching a week of programs to all Rihanas of the world, that year I recall how collective was to feel identified with the topic and how many were identified or maybe left their own ‘Chris Browns’ that same year. Some just cannot do it.

The high level of violence and obsession that implies in being in the relationship surrounded by statements like ‘I’ll find you, anywhere you go’, stay in your mind for a long time. Many of the abusive men use this not only to possess a woman as well as to provide evidence in their minds that this is love.

The other statement “I’ll kill you if you leave me” sounded so natural to a controller. How many women cannot see when the boundaries are too stretched and then, become vulnerable to this so called ‘love’?

 

The process of finding ‘Rhyannas’ who are sufficient open to talk about and heal themselves continues next. As a result, sometimes even a new family can emerge considering people who are sharing the healing process, growing and establishing new perspectives together.

 

Can we women, justify an attitude by just being addicted to being loved?

The passionate focus on the intensity of the feeling, the drama and jealousy that accompany the extreme process and the abuse as a result are the connections to some of the facts. The rest are pieces of information gathered through the years of my experince.

 

For me, personally this is history that made me stronger knowing better what I want based on what I don’t want. I hope it serves to ‘Ryannas’ friends all over the world, on their day, independently of nationality. The formula seems simple: acceptance of the facts and forgiveness after all and then please, girls, move on.

How can you not be romatic about baseball?

This was the phrase Billy Beane, used twice at “Moneyball”, great movie played by no less greater than Brad Pitt, and to my surprise, a true story. By now, you can see this doesn’t intend to be a review of any  type and the reason is simple, I’m a fan, but I wish I could understand better the rules of baseball.  It’s  still a wonderful game.

With this said, the purpose becomes clearer. I intend to talk about the  possibilities of the human being. The discussion that comes to light is the  natural ability of some players already planted in them at early ages, which could not develop their full potential for some reason. Even though the movie tries to prove statistics can be a very useful tool in many areas including scientific research, we’re still on the level of probabilities.

Regards to Billy Beane, I guess I have a very good argument  accepted by some approaches in Psychology and it’s called self-esteem and beliefs. It seems to be one of the hardest elements to change in personalities, no matter how brilliant these personalities are. Right below, I discuss some points on beliefs and the link on  self-esteem that I previously published in my blog. See how you  get this  and if the  25-year old character was just absolutely right.

In this little understanding of beliefs

Low self-esteem will usually cause a much harder time for the person seeing positive results from what they want to come from their power of attracting either physical achievement or relationship wise. The reasoning behind? Because they’ll simply block so much goodness from entering their lives almost without understanding. Consider whether you may be struggling with the beliefs below too:

1. Believing that you’re not “good enough”

Low self-esteem often causes people to compare themselves to others and find lacking somehow. You may believe that you’re not attractive enough, successful enough, glamorous enough, generous enough, good enough, or you just plain don’t deserve to be happy.

2. Believing that others deserve it more

Believing in a limited universe usually gives birth to a belief that there isn’t “enough” to go around, and by accepting something for yourself you may be denying others. This type of belief affirms that people are not as valuable as others and that you don’t deserve to have what you want if others don’t have what they want.

3. Believing that the universe is punishing you

That is a very good system of beliefs. If you were raised under the image of a negative universe (or God), you may walk around with a constant sense of guilt and fear that the universe is just waiting for a chance to sabotage you for doing something wrong. This fear can be very intense, so much so that there are no requests since the universe might deem them greedy or selfish.

4. Believing that it’s too good to be true

This goes along with the ones above, and usually happens to people used to having things going wrong all the time. If typically you hold negative expectations or believe you’re not worthy of abundance and goodness, you might be suspicious of anything positive the universe tries to send your way, and end up resisting it.These beliefs can be overcome when you learn how to love and respect yourself again. There are many ways to do so, but begin by speaking kindly to yourself, reminding of your deepest qualities, affirming that you’re a good and valuable person, and that you deserve to be happy and successful. Emphasize your strong points and be clear in what ‘goodies’ you have to offer the world. Over time, your self-esteem will begin to rise and you’ll find that you’re not resisting the arrival of goodness and abundance into your life anymore.

I believe what stands out here are some of  BB’s not so great characteristics showed in this awesome picture and masqueraded by his adaptable behavior. Well, I really wished he just took care of the Sox, since  I’m a fan and would like to see him winning together as well.

Self- Esteem Belief System

MINDING THE GAP IN THE SNOW

MINDING THE GAP IN THE SNOW.

MINDING THE GAP IN THE SNOW

When I got lost

In your dream,

You reported the silence, the search in the plains,

the white all over,

The long white lines in the horizon,

Not even a pile of ice

Around, I laughed,

Juggling with your entire anguish.

Now I see

The feeling of the missed

Not even being introduced to it,

Surrounded by the same apocalyptic illusion

That all is well,

Where the snow is not even noticed

Just the orange color of the desert.

Celebrate the life,

Dear Soul

Before the first fresh breath you have ever taken.

Celebrate the ones who are

Concerned, sharing the worries,

Of the “wherever you are”.

Driving on the wrong direction,

Following the other side,

The other lane,

The other role,

The other “not even knowing”.

Rejoice the ‘no lights’,

No shells,

No reservations,

To where life drives you

And becomes to be.

 

By Lilian Schreiner