As I write my PhD thesis, looking to the large backyard filled with white and red rosebuds I wonder if Lola could be quiet in an exciting environment like the one I have in this home.
Lola was funny. She was the little muscled pug dog that came to me due to my American friend’s trip to the Middle Eastern countries. She planned to stay as long as possible , which resulted in a six-months leave with Lola having fun trips to the vet and long walks on the Cliff Walk in Newport –USA , where we were living at the time. She had her mild temper tantrums as a little child but the most amazing part was the addiction she had to bark to anyone who would cross the large porch. I wonder if this wasn’t an attempt to protect the place.
The previous bitsy insights that I had from her history were linked to an abusive home she lived and that her barking possibly happened when she would feel virtually threatened barking easily at any sign of fearful situations.
As a conditioned answer to her fears Lola developed a PTSD , post stress traumatic disorder, in order to cope with the years she lived under the scope of stress. After repeated threatening situations she developed an instantaneous reaction to the situation no matter how valid the response was. Animals are another mirror of the environment. She saw the environment scary independent of the reality around her. How important is this to realise our human nature.
I wonder how little Lolita could have helped when my brother and I were living under stress due to our parents early stages of what resulted in a divorce. As kids the sensivity to the environment is high. We were a good team, loyal to each other, which developed the routine of inhabiting a kids’ world amongst dolls, cars and games.
As children we were not too used to socialise other than the formal schooling when entering kindergarten. We were just us two and for this matter a pet that had such good skills to protect would be an asset and a lovely model of loyalty anyone could benefit from.
To make things worse, my brother was threatened by a tall black dog when he was 4-years old visiting an old relative. Any kind of dog would be scary for this tiny one and this fact just pilled up to the already stressful life.
Time passed and as a grown up my brother decided to have a little white Yorkshire and I got Lolita caramel pug to regain the sense of resilience and confidence one should have through life.
Then after my friend’s arrival, I accepted a work position abroad and Lolita stayed behind. I still miss her nowadays. Inside of me I know that where she is she misses me as well.
In some way, I guess all our art work or hobbies are ways in what we juggle to cope with what we miss and long for. Here is one example…